12 is the new 2
Mum's the Word

12 is the new 2

I'm a victim of a hate crime. My 12-year-old just shot me a look from across the room that could kill someone, and I'd like to report it.

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Merry Christmas, Darling Mom
Mum's the Word

Merry Christmas, Darling Mom

"Merry Christmas, Darling" by the Carpenters comes on the music channel while I'm washing dishes. Although the kitchen is full of people, I'm sure no one hears me say that this song always reminds me of my mom.

There are good reasons you're not getting a baby for Christmas
Mum's the Word

There are good reasons you're not getting a baby for Christmas

I hear my 10-year-old pipe up from the back seat. "Why can't you have another baby again? I'd really like you to." I almost choke on my coffee.

Yes, elves can make all the difference
Mum's the Word

Yes, elves can make all the difference

It's that time of year again. "Why has Barbara's elf already come to her house but ours hasn't?" Great question. It's because Barbara's mother is a ... she's pushy and made a call. That's why.

Lesson No. 55
Mum's the Word

Lesson No. 55

We all know how boys are in regards to the weather. If we didn't hide their shorts, they'd be wearing them with snow boots. Unfortunately, we can't hide all the shorts because they still need some for their athletics. Technicality. Sadly, while sippin

Social media etiquette
Mum's the Word

Social media etiquette

It seems like only yesterday I was worried one of my children would blurt out something like "You're old!" to some random granny at the grocery store who sweetly glanced their way, or maybe show the deli lady the booger they just picked. Now, half their p

Measurements
Mum's the Word

Measurements

I don't own a scale. There's a reason for that. I watched my oldest get off one and say her weight. I tell her how scales make me uncomfortable because they are not an accurate measurement of anything. They don't weigh muscle against fat.

Laundry Day
Mum's the Word

Laundry Day

I was just asked by an outsider)if it was laundry day by the state of my living room. Um, yeah, let's go with that. I mean I'm not lying necessarily. I just negated to say that every other day is also laundry day and this is the best my house ever looks.

Columbus Day
Mum's the Word

Columbus Day

Why are we still celebrating Columbus day? Christopher Columbus was a racist sex trafficker who never set foot in North America. Anything you believe to be true about him is a lie. Do the research.

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