Mum's the Word

Someday I won't pick out his clothes ...

Posted: Dec. 14, 2017 12:01 am

It's Sunday and like all Sundays we have every intention of going to church with about a 50/50 shot of actually making it. I don't know why it's a surprise to anyone at this stage when I announce it, but I'm met with some protests.

I quickly redirect to the wardrobe and ask them to put something "nice" on. Here's where I went wrong. "Nice" could mean anything they like. I realize this when my son comes down in jeans and a football strip. I'm like, "That's the best you got?" and he's replies, "Uh, Ya! It's Liverpool!"

I roll my eyes but I don't care at this stage.

Sadly, he's the best dressed out of the four, which is a shocking turn of events. One of them is wearing a summer dress for 0-degree weather.

The oldest is really the only one I don't lay out outfits for in the grand scheme of things. I'd like to, and I have, but it usually ends in tears and is rarely worth it. We have an agreement that there are parameters for special occasions and weather and that I can override if I need to. I'm grateful I don't have to argue about appropriateness that much as she tends to go fairly conservative. It's more crazy combos and me trying not to have an opinion at all. Sometimes I have to have a word with my face. Lately it's cat-influenced clothing. If you don't understand what that means, I can't help you because I'm envious of your lack of understanding.

The boy seems to have the most trouble in the clothing department. I thought that a shirt drawer and a pants drawer was pretty self explanatory, but I was wrong and we have now moved to an outfit drawer system. It's where I pre-pick out weather appropriate/school appropriate clothing and hide all the shorts and holey sweat pants in case he goes rogue.

As I'm going through his clothes to re-pick out outfits for the upcoming week, I begin to ponder how long I will be doing this.

Then I think of some of the adult men in my life. I have a cousin who was once handed a spreadsheet of Christmas events and corresponding outfits down to the shoes. I've never been at this level of planning, but almost applaud it, especially if it's well received, which I believe it was.

While most of us are not at this level, most men consult their significant other for guidance or at least get told, "Please don't wear something you look like you mow the lawn in." I know it's totally stereotyping and some men are just fine on their own, but a good majority need a little help in this department.

I really don't mind once I'm putting clothes away and take comfort in knowing he will look at least half-way decent. I take solace in knowing this is just a season of life.

Someday I won't pick out his clothes ... but somebody will.

Unless he goes into lawn services.

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