Steve Eighinger

Are you motion challenged? Don't be ashamed

By Herald-Whig
Posted: Jun. 5, 2018 9:40 am

On more than one occasion in the Eighinger household, my lovely wife has looked in my direction and rolled her eyes.

That reaction usually comes after she has asked me to do some sort of task that I had forgotten or simply ignored.

"You might be the laziest person I have ever known," she has been known to say.

To which, I am thinking, "Harsh, baby. Harsh."

Actually, I prefer the term "motion challenged."

I may be lazy, but I am honest. I realize my inadequacies. I embrace my weaknesses but don't lose any sleep over them.

Through the years, I have realized I am not alone. There are plenty of others who, too, are motion challenged.

Here are a few examples:

º "Laziness is nothing more than the habitat of resting before you get tired." -- Jules Renard, author.

Actually, I think I have used that line before. You'll have to check with the Little Woman.

º "I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like walking or carrying things." -- Lech Walesa, social activist.

Obviously, my future contains great things.

º "I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours," -- Jerome K. Jerome, humorist.

I do. It does. And I have.

º "The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing." -- Evan Esar, author.

Everyone needs to know their limitations and find their niche.

º "It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?" -- Ronald Reagan, former president and actor.

If the former leader of the free world has those same kind of thoughts, I consider myself in good company.

º "Whenever there is a hard job to be done, I assign it to a lazy man. He is sure to find an easy way to do it." -- Walter Chrysler, founder of the Chrysler Corporation.

And sometimes, that in itself can be difficult.

º "Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man." -- Jimmy Lyons, musician.

The following is a very familiar type of conversation with my wife: "Steve, can you takes these four boxes down to the basement, and bring up those other five boxes that are down there?" she will ask. To which I often reply, "Sure, honey, I'll get them tomorrow."

º "I like the word ‘indolence.' It makes my laziness sound classy." -- Bernard Williams, philosopher.

I'm going to need to remember that.

º "Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things." -- Robert A. Heinlein, who wrote "Time Enough for Love."

As I've been saying, our nation owes a lot of great things to a lot of lazy people.

º "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." -- Douglas Adams, satirist.

Obviously, Mr. Adams is a member of the lazy man's hall of fame.

º "Procrastinate now, don't put it off." -- Ellen DeGeneres, comedian.

I have no problem with that, none whatsoever.

º "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow." -- Mark Twain, humorist.

And that's why Twain is considered a genius.

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