Steve Eighinger

A Facebook Network would be a great idea

By Herald-Whig
Posted: Jul. 14, 2017 9:40 am

Regular readers of this space know that I enjoy frequenting Facebook, normally late in the evening after the baseball games have ended and there's nothing more on TV or Netflix that piques my interest.

It occurred to me while wading through posts late Thursday night that a Facebook Network would be a great idea for television. It could feature nothing but random posts, videos and thoughts. I know I would subscribe.

The items I saw Thursday night were obviously more entertaining than most -- if not all -- TV programming that was available. See whether you agree:

º "Be careful when you blindly follow the masses. Sometimes the m' is silent." (Poignant, as well as funny.)

º "You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they're placed around your throat, she's probably slightly upset." (Funny, as well as poignant.)

º "Not only did I fall off the diet wagon, I dragged it into the woods, set it on fire and used the insurance money to buy Twinkies." (Have you ever really thought about the number of times a diet you were trying did not work?)

º "Guys with an eye patch and three fingers sell the best fireworks." (There's probably something that is not politically correct about that statement, but it's still hilarious.)

º "Every time a vegetarian eats a salad, a poor rabbit goes hungry." (Classic. Simply classic.)

º "They asked me why I don't have tattoos ... so I told them, do you see a Ferrari with bumper stickers?" (I'm still trying to persuade my wife to let me get a tattoo if the Cleveland Indians win the World Series.)

º "Some days I can conquer the world. Other days it takes three hours to convince myself to shower." (I seem to have a lot of those "other days.")

º "A clean house is the sign of a broken computer." (A true sign of the times.)

º "If camping means my motel room would be facing the woods, then yeah, I'll go camping." (This is me 100 percent. I have about as much interest to go camping as I would painting Memorial Bridge. No offense to the outdoor folks, but if your woods do not have Wi-Fi, I'm probably not going there.)

º "If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, then why is there a light in the fridge." (Another good point.)

º "Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you." (Incredibly, this is a real thing.)

º "I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life." (From a personal standpoint, I don't think I have ever even tried.)

º "If two people love each other, nothing is impossible. Except deciding where to eat." (Obviously, someone knows about how difficult it is for my wife and me to choose a restaurant.)

Another appeal of late-night Facebook viewing -- as opposed to watching late-night TV -- is there are very few reruns. There's new material every day, which keeps me coming back for more ... and more ... and more.

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